Rule Twelve Point Five
by Fictionnaire
Summary: Tony and Ziva have a discussion about the Evil Dead movies which leads to rule 12.5... I did this because I really, really love Evil Dead series


"Come on… Be honest Ziva. You liked the Evil Dead series." Tony said to her the next morning at work wriggling his eyebrows.

"Those movies have to be the worst ones ever made." Ziva said almost laughing. Tony had been bugging her to watch them to and now fantasized about going to his house and burning his DVD collection, "The guy was an idiot… But I have to admit the main guy was sexy."

Tony scoffed, "You think Bruce Campbell is sexy." He couldn't help but laugh, "Oh Ziva, Ziva, Ziva… You know Burn Notice?"

"That is one of the few American shows I like." Ziva said wondering how on Earth they went together.

"Well you know the guy who plays the friend… That older fatter looking one, that's Bruce Campbell, the guy you think is sexy." Tony said.

"Eww… But he is still sexy in a rugged kind of way." Ziva shot back.

"That's gross." Tony replied, "But come on… How can you not like Evil Dead?" The thought that people should love the classic movie, "The one-liners, the silly action it was so bad it become great."

"Ha!" Ziva exclaimed, "So you admit it was bad."

"That's not what I meant." Tony replied, "What I meant was that it was deliberately made to look bad."

"Well they succeeded in one thing at least."

"What I'm saying is that the Evil Dead series wasn't a horror series but it was mocking the genre." Tony explained, "I mean you had the overdone blood, the senseless plot and the hero screamed like a little girl."

"Not to mention having a car in the thirteenth century or whenever." Ziva said, "And what about that stupid chainsaw… Surely that would have ran out of fuel way before then."

"It's _a movie_ Ziva." Tony said rolling his eyes, "It's not suppose to be factual, "There has to be something you liked about it." She was about to say something, "Besides Bruce "Sexy" Campbell." He interrupted sarcastically.

"Well I liked the part where he beats himself up in the second movie." Ziva thought for a moment, "That was pretty good."

"You know they made a stage musical out of Evil Dead?" Tony smirked.

The smile told her that he had to be joking, "Nice try Tony but nobody will go and see that shit on stage." Ziva said.

"I'm not joking." Tony said cheerfully, "First chance I get, I'm going to get tickets."

"Yeah right." Ziva challenged.

"How about him chopping his girlfriend up?" Tony asked, "That was a pretty good scene to."

"Give it a rest Tony." Ziva was getting annoyed with it, "The only good thing in Evil Dead was Bruce Campbell."

"He's a good actor… I'll give you that. But people say I could've been a really good actor." Tony held his face up as if he was in profile, "What do you think?"

"Hmm?" Ziva thought for a moment, "Maybe for radio plays because you definitely don't have a face for television."

Tony gave a mock-hurt look, "Oh that's not very nice, I bet I can act just as well as Bruce Campbell anyway."

"I never said I thought he was a good actor." Ziva said, "I just find him sexy."

"You don't think he's a good actor?" Tony asked, "Come on… He's about the best B grade actor there is." Ziva looked blankly at him, "B-grade, you know A grade movies are the blockbuster movies. The ones with big budgets and have great cinematography and all that… B grade movies are low budget movies and usually look crappy and have bad actors in it because they can't afford the best." Tony began explaining, "Sure the big blockbusters have a huge fan base but that is absolutely nothing compared to the cult following that movies like Evil Dead have."

"If he's that good, why has Bruce Campbell not been in any big budget movies?" Ziva asked with the shake of the head.

"You have seen the Spiderman movies right?" Ziva rolled her eyes, of course she has since he convinced her to watch them last month, "Remember the man who introduce him into the ring, that rude usher in number two and then the French guy who couldn't speak English well in the third?"

"Vaguely." Ziva answered.

"And then don't forget Burn Notice." He added with a thought.

"I do not know why you are trying to convince me about Evil Dead it is crappy." Ziva said, "Come on, what hero of a movie can not speak the words properly?" She asked, "Klaatu Verada Nickto… Does that even mean anything?"

"KLAATU." Tony began as he held out his hands and talked in a loud booming voice, "Verada Ni-" He stopped, "Nectarine, necktie…" But was cut short by Gibbs slapping him in the back of the head, "Shutting up Boss."

"Klaatu Verad Nickto was the words used to stop the robot in The Day The Earth Stood Still." Gibbs looked at the other agents who had shocked expressions on their faces, "You don't think I know old classics? And by the way I've got a new rule… Rule twelve point five."

"Twelve point five Boss?" Tony asked, almost too afraid to find out.

"Rule Twelve point five… Do NOT watch movies with fellow agents… _ESPECIALLY _those named DiNozzo." Gibbs hid his smirk behind a cup of coffee.


End file.
